It took a while, but the house is finally back together. Clean towels fill the linen closet, the basement hallways are once again clear and the produce drawers now contain fresh produce. (we won’t talk about what they used to contain. . .shudder!) I tend to plunge into projects and what have you, with gusto, working on things flat out until I am done. Once a big project is done and I come up for air, I look around, realize the house has fallen apart and I am exhausted. It used to take weeks to get things back to normal. I would find dirty dishes hiding in the oven, or in baskets in the closest, stashed there when unexpected company dropped by. The fridge would be filled with little bits of leftovers with no room for fresh food. Laundry would. . . well lets not talk about what happened in the laundry room! Over the last several years I have slowly purged much of our stuff and worked hard to find a place for everything that’s left with the hope that it would make putting the house back together easier. (And it really has!) Because, while most people likely find my way of doing things a little. . .(ahem) quirky, I have come to accept that’s it’s just the way I was made. That doesn’t mean, however, that I am willing to accept living in chaos for weeks on end. I’m quirky, not crazy. . . It has taken me longer than usual to get it back together this time. Some parts of the last few weeks were lots of fun, but others were quite difficult. I hadn’t been back to B.C. since my dad’s funeral in early May. Walking into his house for the first time brought back such sorrow, it really took me off guard. Dad wasn’t perfect ( who of us is?) but I loved him dearly. The thing is, he loved me just the way I was. He was proud of me. I didn’t see him often. As his illness worsened over the years, it took more and more of his energy to just keep moving forward, to ‘fight the good fight’ without complaint, and he didn’t always have much left over for the people around him, but he did the best he could.
Dad had a sense of adventure, (I was thrilled when he took my sister Lisa and I up in a little plane when we were young. She was not, poor little soul. . .) and although he wasn’t really a ‘people’ person, he enjoyed being on the road, traveling to new places. He loved to learn, to try new things and create beauty. Over the years he brought into being wonderful cakes, gardens and photographs. He played with food and tinkered with recipes for delicious baked goods. He filled his sun room with exotic birds and fish of all kinds (Not to mention plants. If I had half the indoor green thumb he had, I would be thrilled! But I don’t. Indoor plants shake in their pots when I bring them home.) I miss my Dad. But I take such comfort in knowing that he is finally home, at peace, and free to be all the Lord created him to be. It’s time for me to move forward, to fight my ‘good fight’ and be all that God has created me to be. It’s a new day and I want to live it with joy. Thankfully, I don’t have to rely on my own strength to do it. . . . . Philippians 4:4-9
New International Version (NIV)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.